But there is no more iconic figure than that of the wizard himself. The initial meeting is full of fire, explosions, and such. He was to me so dark and overwhelming at first…full of ideas of his own power. Yet soon the ruse is discovered, and we discover that he is nothing more than an illusionist, the “man behind the curtain”. And he uses his contraptions to steer everyone away from the truth of who he is.

Here's a showman!

As I spend time on Twitter, I follow some minor famous people, including Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal. I was surprised one day when I got a message that he was following me back! Now why would the governor, who has a state to run, listen to what I was saying? I’m not a constituent, although I am a fan. It did give me a feeling of connection. Not a real connection…a virtual one I suppose. I haven’t attempted to dialogue with him, but I’m interested to hear what he has to say. I’m not as interested in a staffer that is maintaining his web presence, but how would I ever know? Is it the man behind the curtain? I don’t want to believe it isn’t him. I want to have a relationship with a leader I respect.

I must confess that I’m a big fan of Fox’s “Magic’s Secrets Finally Revealed”. The show features a masked magician who works in a secret industrial warehouse, who apparently won’t reveal his identity because he’s “breaking the code”. We see the female assistants’ faces, I suppose their identities aren’t worth protecting. Throughout the program each illusion is narrated by a smarmy and smirking voice as he were seeing it for the first time, with the occassional concerns for safety. Each illusion is followed by the narrator explaining how the illusion was achieved. Whether by removing the visual barriers, taking a different angle, or plain explaining how this wouldn’t work in real life, it does a wonderful job at presenting many of the historically notable illusions from the masters like Houdini as well as the shysters like David Blane. I find that the experience of having my mind tricked is a humbling one, and then have it explained to me is freeing. As I have watched more of the show, I’ve been able to see themes emerge: Misdirection, camera tricks, elaborate machinery. It’s all there, and it’s fantastic. And I’ve become better at spotting the critical points, and challenging my assumptions. While the laconic commentator sometimes skirts good taste, I’m glad my kids are watching this, because they need to be able to question things, to take another angle. Without destroying their creativity, I want my kids to see who is behind the curtain.

The masked man with some slight of hand

Yet my experience has taught me that there are huge numbers of people who don’t value temporary jobs when they are working them. There are some who accept the social compact. There are some days where it seems rare, however. Many temporaries are working for a check, not to learn anything long term. Many of these have burned so many earlier bridges that they cannot get anything else. Many are young, and have no long term interest in seeing anyone succeed because this opportunity won’t lead to lots of money. Most of the requirements of the lowest temporary jobs were quite low – I’m here today, put me to work. They are sent out on the lowest skilled jobs imaginable. But even the longer term positions are treated with disdain. I have even encountered some who think the agency placing them is taking money from them. Typically those people have had anger issues!

The interesting thing is that this disdain is without question very apparent from the moment the candidate walked in the door. Good recruiters and hiring managers want to see the commitment you will bring with you. They will see that in your resume or work history, your interview, your phone screen, and at all times your attitude. They want you to choose a commitment up front with open eyes, rather than put your best face forward, only to decide that it is not the right opportunity.

When hiring light industrial assemblers, I boiled it down to 3 things. I looked at pay expectations, quality awareness, and motivation.

1. Are your pay expectations in line with what we pay here? I don’t want to like you too much if I can’t afford you. And with these clients, we were not able to negotiate for this position. I didn’t want you there if you didn’t want to be there.

2. “How did your employers rate your quality?” When I asked that question, most responded with a grin and said “they rated me good”. What specifically did they look at? Many people said it was their attendance. If showing up to work is how you distinguish yourself, you’re comparing yourself against the worst of the worst. It was surprising how many people didn’t care how they were rated, it was just a paycheck for them. If they demonstrated awareness, they were more likely to have cared about it.

3. “Think of a time when you had to work hard on a task. Not physically, but mentally had to work hard to complete a task. What did you do?” After getting an answer, I would ask why. If you just ask “why did you work hard” as a general question, people will more likely make something up. But with the behavioral interview, they are thinking of that specific instance, and to drill down there often was a discovery to both parties. I could see occasionally the wheels turn “Why did I put in that extra effort?” Poor answers had to do with supervisors or environment: external factors that the employee had limited control over. Good answers for me were internal: “I take great pride in my work” or “I wanted the company to succeed”, answers that I believe contain thinking outside of their own needs (win-win thinking). It demonstrated a level of engagement with the social compact that I thought would thrive in our client, a client who wanted people to care about their work.

Really what it boiled down to was “were you honest about wanting this job instead of a paycheck”. Because wanting this job so you could perform it well is the most important thing I looked for as a recruiter. I looked for ways people could demonstrate it. There are many who don’t respect temporary work, see it as only a means to an end. That disrespect will show up in performance, and more than likely not show up for work! Using these basics I passed on previously hired employees, supervisor’s sons, and even when I was desperate to fill positions on candidates who would cause more harm than good. After all, I gave my word to my client that I would work for their success by presenting only the best!

Perhaps I’m naïve, but a person’s word is still important, even if it’s for a temporary situation. I know I will strive to teach my kids that. That is one of the keys to a life worth living.

Sure, I was one of the scoffers at first…oh brother, another digital distraction for the under 30 crowd that elevates their already egregious self importance and cuts into their productivity at work (for those who can access it at work). They’re already narcissistic enough, now they can worship their God in the Mirror with moronic paeans to their adventures in beer land any time a computer or mobile phone is at hand. This formerly solipsistic view certainly qualifies me for a geezer award. It’s almost like you can hear me saying “those young whippersnappers”…

One of the joys of my life is when I experience a sense of true understanding of others, but I acknowledge that it’s hard to allow yourself to be vulnerable to others, since we have all experienced the downside of that in many points in our life. (I believe this is harder for men.) Whether our supposed friends stabbed us in the back directly or just stopped showing an interest, we take a chance that a person we talk to about who we really are will handle that info carefully. It’s hard to do so since we are always on stage and managing the perceptions of others.

My wife regularly connects with people she grew up with. I sometimes am lonely and jealous of that fact. Since I’ve turned 40 and have moved to a different state, it’s not easy to just talk to someone I knew in my child or young adult hood. Because of that I have felt like my life is at times a set of disconnected chunks of experience (each job with its colleagues and shared challenges, each romantic interest with its combination of expectations and concomitant auxiliary relationships, each association or group that started and ended that I participated in). I know I am not alone, in a world where people are moving around farther and faster.

I recently lost my job, and what I’ve found out is that much of the impact I had on people I didn’t realize I had on them. I have found it comforting and exhilarating to know that I made a difference to those around me. It is frustrating to lose a job you like to do because of no fault of your own. All that work I did that was moving toward hopefully worthwhile goals, but will it get to fruition? As a results oriented person, I crave to SEE the fruits from those seeds planted. But it is not to be. Pondering it further, I suppose life is like that, all of the stories of our lives spinning at their own pace with others making their entrances and exits at mostly inopportune times. We avoid goodbyes because they are awkward, they seem to be saying “all of the work we put into the relationship is done, there’s nothing more here.” That’s hard to admit, and often unsaid in acquaintanceship. I suppose it is the “why do we have a relationship” question, one that is rarely asked by any player. At least goodbye puts closure on the whole process.

Social networking like FB makes it so easy. It’s there 24/7 as a meeting place for messages and even chats. It adds the pictures, sounds, and info of our lives through various portals. We can’t eat or drink the stuff on FB (although we certainly have simulated it), but we have the opportunity to talk or write with anyone who will listen. One could argue that the connections very much on the surface. Everyone (with only a few exceptions) puts their best face forward. You won’t hear me talk about the client I screwed up with, only the ones I’ve delivered value-add solutions and made clients happy. On FB I’ve had a couple of occasions where I’ve actually had deeper more meaningful exchanges with people I never had that connection with before. Partly it is due to the fact that we’ve all grown these last few years, we experienced more of the big issues of life and death. When people are bold enough to articulate it despite that vulnerability, I feel as though I understand you more truly. When I heard that a high school friend had passed away in Chicago, I felt a powerful sense of loss. I had let my relationship go with this friend, taking it for granted that at some distant point I could let her know how great she was (at a time when I certainly was trying out various levels of jerkiness). And with her death, I can’t tell her here what she meant to me then. Maybe I can in the great beyond, but I don’t know that for sure. Maybe it won’t even matter to me then, but upon reflection I find that it matters now. Within time and space, I want to be able to let those important people know what they meant to me before it is too late. Or whatever it was I wanted to say, whether it was “sorry I did that” or “I don’t hold this against you anymore”. I hope you will do the same.

Relationships are organic, born from different reasons and perishing from others. To be maintained, they need to be nurtured. It makes me think of the work required to keep plants healthy(although I’m not a gardener…just what I’ve heard). Talking on the phone or visiting takes a time commitment that many of our goal oriented lives rarely allow us to make. FB is like some kind of super soil that allows you to water once a month/week/nanosecond. You can see pictures of me and my family and get a sense of our life, especially as you progress through your experiences. You can observe and report, all on your own time and to the degree you want. And I like knowing how you are doing. It helps to connect those dots.

Music is like a friendship, in that it occurs in time and space, and it gives flavor and quality to life. Its ephemeral nature means that it disappears into the mists of time, and all we are left with is the fleeting impressions of the music. (Well, musicians can probably give you a deeper analysis and hear the music more clearly in their heads, but they have developed extra skills for coding that experience). Although we don’t really know, we experience life from our perspective alone, and that nothing remains after us except the fleeting impressions of those who knew us. In the same way they give us quality of life…and FB is a new record of that experience, adding sight, sound, interactivity, and simulation in all kinds of hitherto undiscovered combinations. (Once they start delivering smell and taste simulation over the internet, we’re never going to leave our houses). There are a million ways to waste time on FB, but that’s just freedom with its accompanying blessings and curses.

The junior sage of Baltimore (my name for him), Mike Frainie, said that music has made a difference to him in the darkest times. He and I both worked at Record Theatre, although when I was there, we sold primarily CD’s. Customers would say “It should be called CD Theatre, where are your records?”. The truth is that records are better understood as recordings rather than the vinyl. Whether it is 8 track, cassette, cd, mp3, it touches the very depth of emotion: Record is the perfect name for it, being from Latin recordārī, to remember : re-, re- + cor, cord-, heart.

Another blessing of FB is the return memories I had forgotten. I pride myself on having a good memory for certain things, but when an old acquaintance said “hey, TH Dogbreath” I was stumped. Apparently I put that on a name tag when I waited tables. I had no memory of that, but was reminded of that whole episode in my life…and was tickled at how silly I was. Maybe not all of your memories are good, but they are a part of who you are, how you got here, and what you’re becoming. I’m reminded of that scene in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” when Jim Carrey is in his memory and he confronts a childhood bully. The bully still puts him in a wrestling lock, he can’t change that memory, but he can put it in perspective. (I always come away from that scene moved…it is a shame the movie is as vulgar as it is).

So help me to remember by recording. I am fascinated by the idea of how what we remember informs us about ourselves. There is so much there to learn about who we truly are by remembering others. If you see me on FB, share your life…and invite more people. If they don’t want to be your friend, it’s their problem. I hope you will show me who you truly are, have become, and are becoming. And remind me who you thought I was, because I, TH Dogbreath, don’t always remember so well.